Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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