got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
