The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
