Kiss
Puke
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize