I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
