dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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