she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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