she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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