Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You were trust falling into bushes
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
