So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
