Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
