Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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