Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
