Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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