Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
