This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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