So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
