she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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