I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
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i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
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Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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