i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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