I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
