In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
