First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
