jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
