it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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