making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
