apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
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He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
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fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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