No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It's never too late to be topless.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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