Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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