so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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