I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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