Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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