I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
