Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
