what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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