Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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