I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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