I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
