I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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