Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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