My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
