You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
