maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
