I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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