OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i drank out of a bidet.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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