New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
