at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
