marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
