How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
