I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
