Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
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