Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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