don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
