when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
