Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
