Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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