Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
