dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
the room spins SO much faster in panama
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
