is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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