the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
