is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
