You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
